Long Jokes

Two campers were walking in the woods when they came across a really deep hole. They wanted to see how deep it was, so they found an anvil and threw it down the hole. A couple seconds later, a donkey came running and jumped right into the hole. At this point, the campers were pretty freaked out. Then, a farmer came running up to them looking for his donkey. So, he asked, "Hey! Have you seen my donkey?" One of the campers said "Ya we did! Just a second ago, a donkey came and jumped into that hole!" Then the farmer exclaimed "Thats Imposible! He was tied to an anvil!!!"

A guy was mowing his lawn when his neighbor came out to check the mail. When she did, she slammed the mailbox closed. Then, a couple seconds later, she checks it again. Then she slams it even harder. Then, a minute later, she comes out again and slams it harder than ever. The guy walks over and says, "Is something wrong?" The girl says, "Yeah! My computer keeps giving me a message saying: YOU'VE GOT NEW MAIL! But there's never any mail!!!"

Jonny is a kid who believes in signs, and he thinks he sees new signs every day, warning about something. Jonny got to school very late today. Also, he was late yesterday. And the day before. Okay- practically every day. When he got there, his teacher asked, "Jonny, why are you so late every single day?" Jonny responded, "Because teacher, I keep seeing this same sign!" The teacher responded, "What? Do the worms on the sidewalk spell: DO NOT GO TO SCHOOL?" Jonny seemed confused. "No! There is this sign in front of the school that says: 'Slow Down, School Zone'!"

There are four teenagers, one named Be Quiet, one names Manners, one named A Person and one names Tojail. Be Quiet was caught stealing the Mona Lisa. The policeman asked him, "What is your name, young sir?" he responded, "Be Quiet." the policeman said: "How dare you! Where are your manners?" Be Quiet responded: "Oh! He's down by the well, picking up A Person." The policeman then said "That's it. You've crossed the line. You're going to jail." Be Quiet then said "I'm going to see Tojail?! I haven't seen him in such a long time!" Then, the policeman just got too confused and let him go.

A kidnapper breaks into a teenager's house while the parents are at work. The kidnapper says: "I'm kidnapping you! Get in my car!" the teen says "Ooh! Yay! Are we going to Starbucks?" the kidnapper says: "What- no! I'm kidnapping you and holding you hostage until you parents give me a million dollars!" the teen then says, "Aw. Okay. But after could we get Starbucks?" the kidnapper responds, "What? No- you know what, fine. After I hold you hostage and get a million dollars, I'll take you to Starbucks." "Ooh Yay!" Says the teen. "Now follow me," the kidnapper stands by the door and the teen follows. "After you, ladies first" the teen leads the kidnapper out the door with a smile on his face. "Why- thank you! You are one kind fellow-" the teen interrupts. "Byeee!" and slams the door shut and locks it, as long with all the windows. "Man, he's good," said the kidnapper.

Jerry is stranded in the middle of the dessert when he come up to a tie shop. He asks the guy, "Do you have any water?" The tie shop guy said "No, but there is a hotel nearby. Would you like to buy a tie?" Jerry says, "No thanks, I'm going to go up to the hotel." "Are you sure you don't want a tie?" The guy asked. "I think it would be helpful!" "No thanks," Jerry said. "They are only 9.99!" "NO!" So, Jerry walks up to the hotel. The hotel is called: THE BUISNESS HOTEL. In order to get in, you at least need a tie. "Darn it!" Jerry said.

There is a kid. His dad owns the waterpark. This kid has so many friends, but he doesn't know if they are his real friends, or fake friends because he could just get them in the waterpark for free. So, he writes a letter to his best friend who lives half way across the world who is a complete genius and deals with people's feelings. So, he writes "Hey, I have all these friends but I don't know if they are my real friends, or fake friends because I could just get them in the waterpark for free. What should I do?" A couple days later, the guy writes back "I do not know. Also, when could I pop by the waterpark? Signed, Your BFF." Then, his parents saw the letter and they were amazed, because he was being so honest.